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- Parental alienation occurs when a child refuses to have a relationship with a parent due to manipulation, such as the conveying of exaggerated or false information, by the other parent. The situation most often arises during a divorce or custody battle but it can happen in intact families as well.
www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/parental-alienation
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Parental alienation occurs when a child refuses to have a relationship with a parent due to manipulation, such as the conveying of exaggerated or false information, by the...
- This experience can be deeply upsetting for a child. He or she may feel confused, sad, and lonely after the loss. Children may feel puzzled as to w...
- Severely restricting the time a child can spend with the other parent, especially defying court orders, is a sign of parental alienation. Making ne...
- The psychological community does not recognize parental alienation as a diagnosable condition. However, brainwashing a child to hate a parent does...
- One reason parental alienation can start involves a parent having come to rely on their child for emotional support, a need that intensifies during...
- This phenomenon often originates with a parent who is narcissistic and/or emotionally unstable. They may be motivated by a desire for revenge again...
- Children generally do better when their divorced parents raise them as amicable partners. To do so, parents should never denigrate the other parent...
- Victims of parental alienation can fight the offense in court, although it is difficult to do. Parents should therefore collect thorough, detailed...
- Some researchers estimate that between 11 and 15 percent of divorces involving children lead to parental alienation. Around 1 percent of children i...
- Parental alienation is handled through civil proceedings and is not an arrestable offense. Some believe that parental alienation should be criminal...
- Overview
- What is this ‘syndrome’ — and is it real?
- Signs and symptoms of parental alienation syndrome
- Does it take different forms based on whether mom or dad is doing the alienating?
- How parental alienation affects the kids
- What can you do about it?
- The takeaway
If you’re newly divorced, going through a messy separation, or even if you split from a partner a while ago, we feel for you. These things are rarely easy.
And if the two of you have a child or children together, the situation can be even harder. Among other things, you may worry that your former partner is turning your child or children against you.
Parental alienation is a situation in which one parent uses strategies — sometimes referred to as brainwashing, alienating, or programming — to distance a child from the other parent. Parental alienation syndrome is a somewhat controversial term (more on that in a minute), but it’s used by many to describe the resulting symptoms in the child.
If your former partner is constantly, and severely, making false statements about you to your child, can this lead to alienation and an accompanying syndrome? Let’s take a closer look.
The child psychologist who first coined the term parental alienation syndrome (PAS) in 1985, Richard Gardner, used it to describe behaviors in a child who is exposed to parental alienation (PA).
How do other experts in the field feel about this? First things first — there’s this large manual, called the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5, since it’s currently in its 5th revision), that lists mental health conditions recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. PAS isn’t in it.
PAS also isn’t recognized as a mental health condition by the:
•American Psychological Association
•American Medical Association
•World Health Organization
When Gardner talked about PAS, he identified eight “symptoms” (or criteria) for it:
1.The child constantly and unfairly criticizes the alienated parent (sometimes called a “campaign of denigration”).
2.The child doesn’t have any strong evidence, specific examples, or justifications for the criticisms — or only has false reasoning.
3.The child’s feelings about the alienated parent aren’t mixed — they’re all negative, with no redeeming qualities to be found. This is sometimes called “lack of ambivalence.”
4.The child claims the criticisms are all their own conclusions and based on their own independent thinking. (In reality, in PA, the alienating parent is said to “program” the child with these ideas.)
5.The child has unwavering support for the alienator.
The short answer to this is not really — just that society has changed enough in the past 30 years that alienation is probably equally likely with either parent.
Gardner originally said that 90 percent of alienators were mothers. Is this because women are more jealous, controlling, or concerned for their kids and men are more prone to doing things women see as worthy of alienation? Doubtful. Any person — whether a mom or a dad — can have the qualities that lend themselves to alienating.
It’s probably more related to the still somewhat accepted “ideal” in the 1970s and 1980s that dads were the breadwinners and moms ruled the home — and therefore had more say with the kids. But times have changed. In fact, Gardner later said he saw a shift in alienators from 90 percent mothers to a 50/50 ratio of mothers and fathers.
Still, in many places, due to long-standing societal norms (among other things), the person who gets more custody by default (all other things being equal) is mom. That puts mom in a place where it may be easier to alienate dad.
On the other hand — and also due to long-standing societal norms, expectations, wage gaps, and more — dad may have more resources at his disposal to alienate mom when it comes to legal fees in custody battles and tempting the kids with gifts or promises. However, we aren’t saying this is necessarily the case.
Either way, the child has to deal with the consequences.
One 2016 study surveyed 109 college-aged individuals and found a significant link between the behaviors of alienating parents and the behaviors of those who had been alienated. In other words, children who are subject to a parental alienation situation may grow up to behave in much the same way as the alienator.
Children who are alienated from one parent may:
•experience increased anger
•have heightened feelings of neglect (or even have their basic needs actually neglected while being caught in the middle of their parents’ fight)
•learn a destructive pattern that they pass on to others
•take on a skewed view of reality and become prone to lying about others
There’s no established, one-size-fits-all treatment for PAS for a couple reasons: One, it’s not an official diagnosis. But two — and even if it were a medically recognized condition — PAS and the circumstances are so individual.
In some situations, therapy to reunite the child with the alienated parent may help. In other cases, forcing a child to undergo this kind of reunification therapy may be traumatizing. And court orders can certainly add to the trauma, with legal authorities lacking the proper training to deal with a complex mental health situation.
Finding a reputable family counseling center and quality therapist and child psychologist may be the best place to start. Mediators — court appointed or otherwise — can also be helpful.
Treatment will need to be individualized to your family’s specific situation. The dynamic, developmental age of your child, and other factors will all come into play.
Parental alienation syndrome has never been accepted by the medical or scientific communities as a disorder or syndrome. This can make it really problematic when it comes up in courts of law as part of custody considerations.
In fact, some people argue that PAS is “unscientific” and needs a really precise, medically accepted definition before it should be used at all.
Mar 29, 2024 · Parental alienation involves a parent turning a child against the other parent, while narcissism is a personality trait marked by self-centeredness and a lack of empathy. A narcissistic parent may be more prone to engage in parental alienation to maintain control or seek validation.
Parental alienation is when one parent intentionally tries to turn their child against the other parent. Let’s see what the research says about it.
Parental alienation is a theorized process through which a child becomes estranged from one parent as the result of the psychological manipulation of another parent. [1][2] The child's estrangement may manifest itself as fear, disrespect or hostility toward the distant parent, and may extend to additional relatives or parties. [3][4] The child's...
Feb 1, 2018 · Parental alienation syndrome, a term coined in the 1980s by child psychiatrist Dr. Richard A. Gardner, occurs when one parent attempts to turn the couple's children against...
Jun 18, 2024 · Parental alienation is one parent’s attempt to eradicate the child’s relationship with the targeted parent without legitimate justification. However, a child rejecting a parent on reasonable grounds does not constitute alienation.
