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Avoiding an acrimonious divorce is not always possible if one spouse is especially bitter. Learn how to work through this here. Shock, denial, anger, and sadness are a few of the emotions partners may experience during a divorce.
Sep 27, 2023 · Key points. Divorce can cause positive and negative outcomes for both the parents and children involved. Among the pros are greater freedom, room for growth, and an improved environment for...
- Shock
- Guilt
- Grief
- Anger
- Fear and Anxiety
- Positive Emotions
The shock of your clarity about getting a divorce and informing your spouse: Gina (not her real name) struggles with her decision for months. Years of couples counseling have not improved the marriage. One day “I woke up and just knew I had to divorce.” It was a moment of clarity. The shock of your spouse’s announcement: Tim knew there were problem...
While divorce is very common in our culture, there is still an old stigma attached to it. Remind yourself that you are not a failure just because your marriage ended. You may feel guilty because you feel you “failed.” Max says, “I did everything I could to make her happy. I was a good husband, I thought. But I couldn’t seem to do anything right. No...
Griefand sadness are normal feelings when dealing with loss. The death of the dream when you made your vows: “I’ve lost my best friend,” Louise weeps. “He was always there for me, like no one else. But now he says he isn’t in love with me anymore. He loves me but isn’t in love…” Jason says the pain of “dismantling everything we built together” is m...
Anger, like armor, shields you from feeling the vulnerable feelings that lie underneath the anger. Anger at your spouse for rejecting, betraying, or abandoning you: Eva was enraged at her ex-husband because he started an affair during their marriage. Her righteousness also protected her from acknowledging her role in the demise of their relationshi...
Our brains are wired to scan the environmentfor danger, and an impending divorce often feels like stepping into an abyss. Fearof the future: Tom asks me, “Will I ever find love again? Will my kids be ok? Will I have to work harder to pay alimony?” Amy says, “I feel like I’ve been set adrift. A tsunami of fears hits me in the middle of the night.” F...
A full heart can hold many emotions. Some positive emotions may also arise in a divorce. You may feel a stew of feelings, even conflicting feelings. Relief (You might also feel guilty for feeling relief). Francis is relieved that the fighting has stopped. He is still angry and sad but realizes that the arguing was stressfuland taking a toll on his ...
- Find a non-blaming way to understand what happened. Divorce and relationship endings of all types tend to create emotional distress. The process is often a painful one.
- Focus on discovering your own mistakes and how to rectify them. Mistakes are for learning. Instead of waiting until after the divorce to learn what the rupture of your marriage can teach you, start immediately after one of you has first said the d-word.
- Learn skills for collaborative dialogue and for shared decision-making. Most divorcing couples handle the divorce with the same mistaken strategies that ruined their marriage.
- In the settlement agreement, aim for somewhere between fairness and generosity. Aiming to get more than your fair share can be tempting, especially if you feel you have been wronged, and if you have a spouse who tends to be overly generous.
Mar 29, 2019 · In the end, an acrimonious divorce process makes both partners far worse off than if the process had been approached amicably. Skills learned in a negotiation class help prepare couples, lawyers, and mediators for a stress-reduced process avoiding the following common mistakes.
Jul 7, 2021 · The proposal to make divorces less acrimonious is welcome but lawyers will still need to play their part to make the process less bitter, says veteran family counsellor Benny Bong.
Sep 9, 2017 · “Divorce is not just about money and property, it is about feelings and the sense of self, and where someone fits in their social situation and in the world.” There are some surprising twists and...
