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Mar 27, 2023 · The other three are contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Of course, expressing your feelings to your partner is healthy if something they did triggers you. But what you say and how you say it matters. Hostile Criticism. I can't believe you left your dirty laundry on the floor. You're so messy and annoying.
- Sheri Stritof
- You are being abused – emotionally, sexually, physically and/or financially. Your spouse is abusive when they physically and sexually hurt you. And they are abusive when they treat you with contempt, humiliate, shout at you and constantly criticise you.
- You’re increasingly feeling hurt, let down, frustrated and exasperated. Why might that be a sign your marriage is over? For two reasons. Firstly, the word ‘increasingly ‘appears to show no progress in your attempts to repair your relationship, no matter how hard you’ve tried, if indeed you have.
- Either one of you is bored. Maybe your spouse has mentioned that you’ve become boring, that the two of you no longer do things together and that you’ve nothing to talk about.
- You’ve stopped laughing and talking together like you did before. You may simply have grown apart. You have stopped doing things together, having fun and talking like you used to.
- Sarah Zlotnick
- You feel contempt for your partner. This extreme feeling of loathing or disgust is different from being annoyed by certain behaviors in certain situations.
- Your partner makes you feel bad about yourself. “Researcher John Gottman, who has studied couple interactions for many years, outlines that there should be five positive interactions to every one negative interaction in healthy relationships,” says Williamson.
- You feel controlled by your partner. “In a healthy relationship, both partners should have the ability to influence the other’s perspective, and each partner should be open to the other’s influence safely,” says Williamson.
- You remain married only to minimize negative impacts on your family. “It’s normal to think about how others will respond to your choice, but it should not be at the top of the list of what’s keeping you there,” says Williamson.
- You don’t want to spend quality time together. Do you come home from a long day at work, change clothes and immediately head for your little private part of the house?
- You don’t fight anymore. This sounds counterintuitive, but if you can’t even muster up a good degree of anger toward your spouse, your relationship may be in even bigger trouble.
- No more sex. Sometimes there are medical issues that preclude having sex, but when it’s a conscious decision to not pursue coitus, you are cashing in your intimacy chips.
- Sexual incompatibility. If there’s still a flame that burns in the bedroom, but you are a small candle and your mate’s is a raging forest fire, you could be sounding a fire alarm in your relationship.
- Organize your finances, if you haven't already. This includes setting up individual bank accounts (if you haven’t already done this) canceling joint credit accounts, and updating direct deposit accounts and automatic payments from bank accounts.
- Shore up your own individual support network. Friendships can be lost when marriages end, so attend to the relationships that you don’t want to lose once you and your partner begin living separate lives.
- Recognize that you may feel grief when the marriage ends. Even when you’re leaving a bad marriage, there can be a significant sense of loss. Grieving not only for what was but what could have been or should have been, is normal.
- Find a good counselor if your support network isn’t sufficient or you’re coping with emotional distress that is disrupting your ability to manage your responsibilities and daily life.
Jun 20, 2019 · We also covered the 7 must-have habits to start the process of fixing your marriage: honesty, kindness, compromising, forgiveness, fidelity towards the idea of marriage, will to work, and undivided attention. Short: we’ve got the base. Let’s get to work then. There are 7 Secrets to Fixing Your Marriage.
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May 17, 2024 · Don’t ignore these red flags. 13 Signs Your Marriage Is In Trouble. Red Flag #1) Lack Of Emotional Intimacy And Connection. Red Flag #2) Constant Criticism And Contempt. Red Flag #3) Lack Of Physical Intimacy And Sex. Red Flag #4) Poor Communication And Listening.
