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175 Best Tinder Conversation Starters For Instant Responses. Whether you’re looking for friends or something more, Tinder is one of the easiest ways to connect with like-minded people. A whopping 40% of people seek long-term relationships on online dating apps. Researchers at the University of Chicago even found that couples who meet online ...
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- Ask them about something they put in their profil
- Play “Would You Rathe”
- Ask open-ended question
- Ask what they’re looking fo
- Talk about what you’re looking for in a relationshi
- Ask a deep, meaningful questio
- Make a dat
You’ve matched with the cutie of your dreams on Bumble or Tinder—now all that’s left to do is slide into their DMs! But how do you strike up a convo in a way that’s fresh and original, and how do you keep the conversation going? To help you make a positive and lasting first impression, we’ve assembled expert tips for breaking the ice on a dating app, plus over 50 customizable scripting ideas to help get you started. Get ready to meet your soulmate!
This article is based on an interview with our professional dating and life coach, Lisa Shield.
Check out the full interview here.
Ask your match questions about something they wrote in their profile to show you’re interested in them and share their interests.
Play “Would You Rather”—it’s a fun way to learn more about one another and see if you’re compatible.
Be direct and ask what they’re looking for in a relationship, or share what you’re looking for.
Acknowledging their profile will show you’re invested in them.
In the modern age, we’re all just swiping and swiping and swiping through profiles, so take the time to really look at what someone’s written in their bio—mean a lot. Plus, studies show people love to talk about themselves if given the chance!
Break the ice with the hottie you’ve matched with
by pointing out something specific you noticed in their profile and asking them more about it.
“So you were in Maine over the summer? I’ve never been! What’s it like?”
“Ah, so nice to meet someone else who loves Buddy Holly as much as I do! What’s your favorite song?”
"Would You Rather” is a great way to learn more about their personality.
It’s not only a fun, lighthearted game; it really gives you insight into the way someone thinks (and gives them insight about you too!). Next time you match with a hot single, make a lasting impression by
opening with “Would you rather…”
“...be a dog or a flower?”
“...live for 20 years or live for a hundred years?”
“...live by the ocean or in the forest?”
Open questions give them the chance to say whatever they want.
This will help you learn more about them—and it’ll take some pressure off of
to be a great conversationalist!
and follow up with prompts that
, like “Tell me more about that!” It's a great way to get someone to open up and feel more comfortable.
Stay on topic rather than jumping from new question to new question, or else it could come off like an interrogation. (
Make sure you're looking for the same thing from the get-go.
There’s no harm in being proactive with your icebreaker! Ask what they’re looking for in a relationship (
they’re looking for a relationship) to help you determine if it’s worth pursuing a first date with them. Are they looking for something long-term? A summer fling? Getting right to the point can save you both some time, but be sure to say “hello” first to avoid coming across too brusque!
“So, what brings you to the dating app world?”
“Are you more interested in a deep connection or just a casual thing?”
“Do you see yourself settling down eventually?”
Let them know what your intentions are off the bat.
If you're hesitant to ask them what they’re looking for, just
let them know what you’ve got in mind yourself
Are you looking for a serious relationship, are you here for just a casual fling, or are you just along for the ride?
“Hey there! I’m looking for something that has potential to become a long-term thing—that OK with you?”
“Hi! I just moved to town and would love to meet some new people and get the lay of the land.”
Get up close and personal to learn who they really are.
Lots of people appreciate small talk as an opportunity to get comfortable with one another before getting into a more serious topic. But asking a deep question right off the bat can help you
sooner. Plus, their willingness to engage in a personal conversation with a stranger can give you a sense of how open their personality is.
That’s not to say it’s a red flag if they choose not to get too deep with a stranger—they may not feel comfortable talking about certain deep subjects, or they may just be shy.
“What’s been your most meaningful life experience so far?”
“What, in your opinion, is the most pressing political issue today?”
Kick it old-school: plan a first date and get to know them IRL.
Skip over the virtual get-to-know-yous and jump ahead to the
portion of the chat. You can get to know each other in person over your favorite pizza or a game of darts. (Just make sure you meet in a public place and tell your friends where you’re going!) Even if it turns out not to be a match made in heaven, who knows? You may still have a great time. And if not, you’ve got a good story to share on a future first date.
"Let's get coffee" might be your go-to first date, but if you don't know someone well (or at all), it can be a little awkward just sitting there. Try to make your first date somewhat activity-based, like mini-golfing or a walk in the park (with coffee) to give you both something to focus on.
“I’ll get right to the point—you seem cool, and I’d love to get to know you better off the app if you’re game!”
“When's the last time you've been putt-putt golfing? Follow-up question: what are you doing tomorrow?”
Oct 25, 2023 · Never run out of things to say on dating apps by sending one of these one-liner conversation starters: “What bar is that in your first pic? It looks so fun.” "What's your ideal first date?" "What's one thing on your bucket list?" "If you could travel anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?" "What's your favorite meme?"
- Quality over quantity. A lot of people make the mistake of messaging a bunch of potential matches instead of focusing only on the best ones. Some even come up with one or a few creative messages and copy-paste them to everyone.
- Research their profile. Online dating gives you an opportunity to learn more about the person before contacting them, so use that to your advantage. Don’t start with “Hi, how are you?”
- Find common ground. When you research their profile, the most important thing that you should look for is something that you have in common with them.
- Share something about yourself. You should mention things from their profile. Just remember, they already know who they are, but they don’t know who you are.
- Amanda Chatel
- "I Just Got Back From XYZ Place. Stunning. What's Next On Your Travel Bucket List?" Travel buff? Fantastic. Their photos from their travels can easily give you fodder to start a conversation.
- "Fellow Foodie Here. If You Could Eat Only One Meal Again For The Rest Of Your Life, What Would It Be?" Any question that makes the person on the other end think, and this one is a major question for a foodie, is definitely likely to get a response — after they've pondered about it for a couple days.
- "Wow, Your Vibe Is So Upbeat And Positive!" When it comes to online dating, it's easy to pick out the grumps from those lust-for-life positive types of people.
- "What Was It Like To Pet The Tiger? Where Did You Do That?" Granted, this isn't going to work if there isn't a tiger being pet in any of their photos, but you can see the point that Rubin is making: actually look at their photos, then formulating a conversation starter related to one of those photos.
Aug 18, 2023 · 1. Keep your Tinder opening message short, sweet, and to the point. “Be concise and intentional,” Hoggard Wagley recommends. “One to three sentences is enough. Remember the longer conversation...
Jun 2, 2023 · Knowing a few Tinder conversation starters makes connecting with your match on a meaningful and engaging level easier. These frequently asked questions should help you loosen any jitters about messaging someone on the platform. What makes an effective tinder conversation starter?
