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Apr 12, 2017 · I hear people say, “I’m just being honest here…” and then following that up with something incredibly offensive or rude. People are boasting both on social media and in real life about how they “tell it like it is” or that they’re “blunt” and proud of it .
- Kait Mackinnon
Apr 22, 2015 · Being rude never has anything to do with honesty. If we are truly honest with ourselves, we understand that being rude is merely the expression of transient and fleeting ego thoughts that we express to relieve our own fear, pain and suffering.
- Overview
- Starting a Positive Conversation
- Choosing Your Words
- Balancing Your Emotions
Mastering the art of honesty without hurting other people’s feelings helps you communicate and build stronger relationships with those around you. Consider the other person’s perspective and aim to take a friendly, non-threatening approach with constructive words, especially if you’re giving advice or asking someone to make a change. We chatted with licensed psychologists and life and leadership coaches to help you start a conversation, choose your words carefully, and manage your emotions so you can express yourself and find a solution.
Top Tips for Expressing Your Opinion
Sandwich your honest opinion between compliments and praise to soften it.
Focus on finding ways to improve the situation, rather than lingering on what’s wrong.
Ask yourself if your intentions are positive.
It’s easy to criticize, but sometimes we criticize just for the sake of it, and not actually to help someone be better or to find a solution, which is a recipe for hurt feelings. Licensed Clinical Psychologist Christy Irvine says to “ask yourself what the purpose of your honesty is,” and what you hope to achieve by voicing it.
, ask yourself if the criticism is either welcome or necessary to avoid further harm.
Also, ask yourself if there’s a possibility that you’re the one in the wrong. It’s important to be honest with yourself, too!
Never hesitate to be honest about your own feelings or emotions, especially when someone else is hurting them.
Find the right time and place to make your point.
Start with a compliment and keep an approachable tone.
Leadership and Executive Coach Lauren Krasny says to “
start out with some positive validation
, and then segue into the constructive feedback.”
This helps the other person feel more comfortable, and less like you’re attacking them.
to help cushion your words. Talk softly and at a comfortable pace.
Take deep breaths and keep your emotions neutral.
Even if your honest talk is about hurt feelings, it’s best to
think of the situation from a detached perspective
to have the most level-headed conversation. This doesn’t mean being cold or stoic; rather, it means focusing your energy on the problem, not how you feel in the moment.
For example, say, “Your habits keep making us late, and I want to figure this out,” instead of, “I can’t believe we’re late again because of you. What’s wrong with you?”
If you need to, wait for your emotions to cool before you talk. Say, “I’m upset now, but I’d like to speak with you about this later so we can better understand each other.”
Aug 1, 2018 · Honesty: Expressing your feelings and opinions accurately. Truth: Accurate representation of reality. Ignore this difference, and you'll mistake earnestness for truth.
Feb 13, 2019 · When we’re faced with something we don’t like in our relationships, we tend to think we have only two options: 1) say nothing to the person, and try to ignore the issues; or 2) yell at the person...
Oct 14, 2023 · Mean people show their prejudices; honest ones show open-mindedness in the face of things they don’t understand. Anyone who’s being honest with you isn’t going to try to pass off prejudice as facts. Saying things about your sexual orientation, your race, your family, or things that are out of your control is mean – not honest.
People also ask
Is being rude a good thing?
Does being honest allow you to be rude?
Are honesty and truth different?
What does it mean to be respectful?
Being impolite or rude could lead to conflict, awkwardness or embarrassment – feelings that many people try to avoid when possible. Being polite, therefore, can mean being dishonest, deceitful or even lying.
