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Jun 7, 2019 · You can adjust your thinking and focus on strengths that help establish a more optimistic outlook. Doing so will affirm your mental toughness and make you a happier person. The first step to ...
- Refocus on Your Own Needs, Desires, and passions.
- Ask Before Offering Help — and Accept The Answer The First time.
- When in Distress, Focus on How You Can self-soothe.
- When Someone Tells You That They’Re Unwilling to Work on An Issue, Believe them.
- Learn to Say No. Practice diligently.
- Make A List, Then Do it.
When in doubt, return home to yourself. By taking responsibility for meeting your own needs and pursuing your own passions, you will find yourself much less likely to attempt to control others. Not sure where to begin? For every item on your “I Cannot Control” list, come up with an alternative way to spend that energy that centers your own desires ...
Help can be useful if it is freely given with no strings attached. If you have a tendency toward over-control, though, you may have a history of offering help in order to engender someone’s favor, to get someone to act a certain way, or to manipulate a situation to achieve your desired outcome. Begin asking before offering help. Keep it simple: “Wo...
As my earlier story demonstrated, I tried to control my partner because I made him responsible for my happiness and for soothing my distress. A critical step in breaking the over-control pattern was learning to self-soothe and take responsibility for my own emotional state. Now when I feel distressed, instead of immediately reaching out to my partn...
As Maya Angelou famously said: “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Had I accepted my ex-partner’s statement that he was unwilling to work on our relationship, I would have saved myself two long months of fruitlessly attempting to change his mind — and two long months of heartache. I eventually learned that in order f...
Despite our hope that our partners will anticipate our needs intuitively, this is often not the case. Even the fiercest love can’t transform our partners into mind-readers. It is our responsibility to communicate our boundaries and give others the opportunity to respond accordingly. If we don’t, we may fall into old habits of attempting to control ...
Want to master the art of setting boundaries and start saying YES to YOU? Join my group coaching program, The Say No Club: a 25-person, 6-week program that combines education with real life practice and community support. Register here today. This article originally appeared on the author’s website.
Jun 14, 2007 · Agree to set a time frame to re-evaluate how things are going. Be warm and not confrontational. Brainstorm and discuss solutions to the problem. Bring up the possibility of couples counseling. Choose a time when neither of you is tired. Clarify how the problem is affecting your relationship. Don't lecture.
- Sheri Stritof
Nov 13, 2019 · Here are four suggestions on how to address the inevitable challenges with grace. 1. Embrace Conflict. Harvard professor Richard Hackman studies conflict and suggests people should accept it ...
Apr 10, 2017 · Here are four things you can do instead of trying to change your partner that can change your relationship for the better. 1. Be a better partner. Many people stay in bad relationships with the desire to change their partner. In Marriage Rules, Dr. Harriet Lerner writes, “If you don’t change your part in a stuck pattern, no change will occur.
Jun 26, 2024 · To do this, practice the art of non-defensive listening and focus on being curious about your partner’s feelings. “Empathy lies in our ability to be [fully] present.”. – Marshall Rosenberg. 2. Look for feelings. It’s easy to get swept away in the facts of what happened during the heat of a conflict discussion.
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Nov 16, 2022 · Irritating habits, interests, and behaviors of your partner can ultimately cause friction. If ignored for too long, resentment will strengthen and one day make you explode. The good news is that with open and honest communication, there’s hope for your situation. Remember, nobody’s perfect, and you also probably have things that your ...
