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    • Not follow it with anything

      • The best way to apologize is just to do it, and not follow it with anything. If you desperately feel the need to use a ‘but,’ trying saying the apology with an “and” instead. Then you’ll realize that you either a) sound ridiculous or b) help you to re-evaluate the situation and craft a more truthful apology.
      medium.com/@mcpflug/using-the-word-but-a-brief-guide-to-sincerity-clarity-ab311a2af6a6
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  2. Jun 4, 2017 · I’m sorry, but that’s not going to work. Pointing out a fact doesn’t need to be an apology. For some reason, ‘I’m sorry’ is used as polite fluff to soften a negative statement.

    • Mary Catherine Pflug
    • A true apology does not include the word “but” (“I’m sorry, but …”). “But” automatically cancels out an apology, and nearly always introduces a criticism or excuse.
    • A true apology keeps the focus on your actions—and not on the other person’s response. For example, “I’m sorry that you felt hurt by what I said at the party last night,” is not an apology.
    • A true apology does not overdo. It stays focused on acknowledging the feelings of the hurt party without overshadowing them with your own pain or remorse.
    • A true apology doesn’t get caught up in who's to blame or who "started it." Maybe you’re only 14 percent to blame and maybe the other person provoked you.
  3. Recognizing when you’ve made a mistake and displaying genuine regret is a valuable skill for building relationships and resolving conflicts professionally. Knowing how to apologize sincerely not only improves your standing in the eyes of others but also helps with your self-improvement.

    • Understand why you’re apologizing. To make a good apology, you’ll want to first have a good understanding of where you went wrong. Regret is a key element of effective apologies, but you’ll probably find it difficult to express sincere regret when you don’t know what you regret doing.
    • Start with ‘I’m sorry.’ Period. Apologies that contain qualifiers or justifications typically won’t get the job done. Hint: Following “I’m sorry” with “but” is never the way to go.
    • Take responsibility for your actions. Acknowledging your mistake can go a long way toward helping you convey remorse, but don’t stop there. A sincere apology also involves empathy for the person you hurt, and it’s important to acknowledge the pain your actions caused.
    • Focus on the impact of your actions — not your intent. Sure, you didn’t intend to hurt anyone. Still, at the end of the day, your intent often matters less than the impact of your actions.
  4. Apr 12, 2018 · Word to the wise: If you say “sorry” and then immediately follow it with a conditional word like “but” or “if,” you’re headed in the wrong direction. We asked therapists to share the phrases you should avoid when trying to apologize to a friend, family member, significant other or pretty much anyone, for that matter.

    • Kelsey Borresen
  5. Dec 25, 2012 · A true apology does not include the word “but” (“Im sorry, but …”). “But” automatically cancels out an apology, and nearly always introduces a criticism or excuse. 3.

  6. A sincere apology, simply put, is when the offender recognizes and acknowledges their fault. Imagine your friend calling two hours after you are supposed to leave together on a trip to say they were up late and overslept. They feel terrible about making you worry when they don’t answer your calls.