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Dec 15, 2015 · You’ve got to feel it out on your own, but these little clues are worth considering as you navigate early kisses and try to discern what they mean to you—and to him. 01. It’s a Confirmation of Attraction, Not a Sign of Intention
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- Dating Unscripted
- Overview
- We all start somewhere
- Make sure you’re prepared before the moment comes
- Make sure it’s the right time and place
- Don’t forget consent — and respect
- When in doubt, consider the type of kiss you’re going for
- Once you’ve got the basics down, you’re ready to make your move
- If you want to move from a closed-mouth to an open-mouth kiss
- If you want a full-on make-out sesh
- If you want to heat things up even more
Kissing can be enjoyable or, at times, awkward. It’s best to ask for consent and pay attention to your partner’s body language to learn what they like.
Let’s get real: Kissing can be totally awesome or super cringeworthy.
Without a doubt, a great kiss or make-out session can leave you feeling pretty darn amazing.
Science even suggests kissing can actually be great for your health. A small 2009 study found that kissing can even reduce perceived stress.
Of course, it must be admitted that some kisses just aren’t great. If you’ve had a few of those yourself, remembering them might make the idea of swapping spit with another human seem a little less than ideal.
We can’t always control when the mood for a kiss strikes, but a little preparation can go a long way.
If you know that kissing might be on the agenda, for example, you might want to skip the garlic bread and onions at dinner.
It also helps to:
•Make sure your lips aren’t dry or cracked. Regular lip scrubs, especially during the winter, can help you avoid chapped and peeling lips.
•Keep lip balm on hand for a pre-kiss touch-up.
•Rely on a breath mint or piece of gum to keep your mouth feeling (and tasting) fresh.
It might go without saying, but a full-on make-out session on a packed subway train may not be the best choice.
Once you have consent from your partner (more on that below), make sure your situation is kiss-appropriate.
Not everyone is comfortable with a kiss on the lips in front of a family member, but a smooch on the cheek might be perfectly sweet.
Think about when you’re going in for a kiss, too — not just where.
Movies and TV shows might make sudden, surprise kisses seem romantic, but it’s essential to have someone’s consent before you touch or kiss them.
The mood might seem just right, sure. You can’t know for sure whether someone actually wants to be kissed, though, unless you ask.
People often think asking for consent makes a situation awkward or stilted, but that doesn’t have to be the case at all.
Imagine the two of you cozy in the corner of your favorite, dimly lit hangout, talking about how long you’ve been crushing on each other.
Your knees keep touching, you have to move in close to hear them talk, and you can’t look away from them. Suddenly, they break off mid-sentence to ask, “Can I kiss you?” The tone in their voice tells you that’s all they’ve been thinking about.
Pretty steamy, right?
Want to show affection in public without full-blown PDA? Try a quick peck on the shoulder while waiting in line at the movie theater.
Ready for some foreplay? A lingering trail of kisses on their neck can leave them trembling.
Always ask
If you’re about to kiss someone for the first time, make sure you’re reading the situation correctly by asking verbally. From there, you can set the moment with your body language — moving in a bit closer, cupping their cheek — or use both words and actions. Consent isn’t just important. It can also be pretty sexy.
Lean in
Feeling a little nervous? Don’t rush it, especially if you aren’t sure which way to tilt your head. Dip your head — or gently guide your partner’s face to the side — if you’re worried about banging foreheads. You don’t need to stare them down, but a little bit of eye contact can help make the initial movement less awkward.
Ease into it
Start the kiss out simply, with slow, gentle, and light pressure. Want to continue the kiss? To build it up and lengthen it, try varying pressure slightly. You can also shift your focus from their top lip to their bottom lip. Remember: A little pressure goes a long way.
Start with the tip of the tongue
Less is more, especially when it comes to anything tongue-related. Most people don’t enjoy saliva all over their face. Try briefly and gently touching the tip of your tongue to theirs.
Definitely don’t try shoving your entire tongue into their mouth
An unexpected tongue in your mouth isn’t just a ticket to a drool fest. It’s also pretty unsexy — and sometimes, you might end up getting bitten.
Find a natural rhythm
Make sure to breathe (obviously), and find what feels good for both you and your partner. Not quite sure if they’re ready for a break or want to keep going? It never hurts to ask.
Pay attention to body language
Physical cues — moving closer, pulling away — can tell you more about what your partner likes and doesn’t like. Not everyone uses verbal cues, especially when their lips are otherwise occupied. That means you can learn more about what is (and isn’t) working by paying close attention to your partner. Don’t drive the kissing party to where it only benefits you. The best kiss is one where both partners are happy.
Gradually increase the intensity
There’s no need to go full steam ahead into a heavy make-out session. At the same time, you may not want to drag a single kiss out too long. Gradually build up the kiss into something more. Don’t be afraid to use your body language to tell your partner what you like and don’t like. Communication, even nonverbal, is key.
Make eye contact between, or even during, kisses
It’s pretty common to kiss with your eyes closed, but you don’t necessarily need to keep them closed the entire time. Don’t be afraid to sneak a peek at your partner between kisses. If you do make eye contact mid-kiss, it’s better to keep it short unless you know your partner prefers intense eye contact.
Whether you’re kissing as a part of foreplay or simply enjoying the act, it’s always a good idea to talk with your partner about different forms of intimacy and what you hope to build with them.
Not every kiss needs to lead to oral or penetrative sex. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss — and that’s OK.
Jul 5, 2024 · Although this might feel awkward, the moment after is a good time to gauge your partner’s feelings about the kiss. Look at them, and see if they look like they enjoyed it. If you can’t tell from simply looking, you can talk about it.
Aug 23, 2019 · Incorporating a kiss between the main characters has long been a staple of mainstream TV series and movies, providing an emotional climax that signifies a dramatic change in the characters’...
Oct 1, 2012 · Research generally reveals a sequential progression of sexual activity during adolescence and young adulthood that begins with kissing, proceeds to petting and other non-coital events (e.g.,...
Sep 29, 2023 · A good kiss can boost emotional connection, desire, and partner satisfaction, according to scientific studies. Effective ways to improve kissing include good hygiene,...
People also ask
Why did you feel nervous when kissing?
How does kissing affect your emotions?
Is kissing a sign of Love?
Why do people kiss?
Apr 27, 2023 · Kissing stimulates your nerve endings and unleashes endorphins (the body’s natural feel-good chemicals) that create feelings of happiness and euphoria. The intensity or gentleness of the kiss depends on factors such as individual preferences, emotional connection with one another, level of attraction and even cultural norms.
