François Donge
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Apr 4, 2024 · We recently wrote a post where older adults shared misconceptions about marriage that people should know. In the comments, even more readers shared their thoughts, and it's so insightful. Here's...
- Marriage doesn't complete you. Contrary to Jerry Maguire and the implicit messages embedded in statements like "finding the One" or "your other half," a healthy marriage consists of two whole people who partner to create a third body of their marriage.
- You won't always feel attracted to your partner. Even if we know this intellectually, when lack of attraction hits in marriage most people panic. We’re a profoundly image-based culture and we’re taught through mainstream media that if you’re not wildly attracted to your partner, you’re with the wrong person.
- You won't always like your partner. His jokes will drive you crazy. Her laugh sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard. That’s simply the way it is when you spend that much time with one human being.
- Being in love is a stage of relationship that doesn't last forever. The romantic model says: “You meet, fall in love, and live happily ever after.” We skip over an essential stage: falling out of love.
- Myth: You should never feel rejected. Truth: You are two people with different needs, temperaments and day-to-day fluctuations. You’re going to reject each other at times.
- Myth: It shouldn’t be hard to feel close to your spouse. Truth: It’s easy in a long-term union to get into behavioral ruts. Perhaps you watch TV every night on opposite ends of the sofa, eat a meal, or both read your books but all the while you don’t feel emotionally close.
- Myth: We should have the same interests. Truth: Sure, it really helps to have a few things you enjoy doing with your spouse but these don’t have to be big ticket items.
- Myth: We shouldn’t fight. Truth: Conflict in relationships is unavoidable. Disagreement comes because you see things differently, prioritize differently, or want different things.
- Marriage will solve all my problems. “Many individuals enter marriage with the belief that it will magically solve their personal or emotional issues,” says Cope.
- We should live ‘happily ever after’ “The notion of a perfect, problem-free, and everlasting happiness in marriage is unrealistic. Every relationship faces challenges, conflicts, and ups and downs,” says Cope.
- My partner should fulfill all my needs. Relying solely on your partner for emotional fulfillment, happiness, intellectual engagement, and all of life’s other needs is a one-way ticket to resentment and places an undue burden on your marriage (and any relationship, if we’re being honest).
- Love is enough. “Love is undoubtedly a vital foundation for a healthy marriage, but it is not the sole ingredient,” says Cope. “Sustaining a fulfilling partnership requires effective communication, mutual respect, trust, shared values, and active effort from both partners.
Marriage is the capstone of the family, the building block of human civilization. A society that does not honor and protect marriage undermines its very existence. Why? Because one of God's designs for marriage is to show the next generation how a husband and wife demonstrate reciprocal, sacrificial love toward each other.
Jan 13, 2024 · Here are 7 truths about what marriage is like and why they help couples stay together. 1. Marriage takes work.
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François Donge, a rich entrepreneur and womanizer, meets a young woman nicknamed Bébé and marries her. Ten years later, as he lays dying on a hospital bed after being poisoned by his wife, he relives their life together and realizes how much the young woman who once adored him suffered from the anguish caused by his many affairs and indifference.
