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  1. Mar 14, 2024 · Charles Shulz. “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”. – George Carlin. A day without laughter is a day wasted. Charlie Chaplin. Political correctness is tyranny with manners. Charleton Heston. If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito. Dalai Lama.

  2. Sep 25, 2023 · 11. Your life never expires. “I’m a work in progress without a completion date.”. 12. The perfect balance of optimism and sarcasm. “Life is like the smiley face emoji. You never know what it really means.”. 13. A simple yet powerful quote about the beauty of life.

  3. To make a success of it, you’ve got to start young.”. — Theodore Roosevelt. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the ...

  4. May 20, 2024 · I don't think it's natural." — Truvy Jones, Steel Magnolias. "The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." — Oscar Wilde. "Go to heaven for the climate, hell for ...

  5. Oct 6, 2022 · Tomorrow is often the busiest day of the week. Spanish proverb. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield. Rice is great when you’re hungry and you want 2000 of something. Mitch Hedberg. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth. Unknown.

  6. Mar 12, 2024 · 12. “No man goes before his time—unless the boss leaves early.” —Groucho Marx. 13. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” —Claude MacDonald. 14 ...

  7. Oct 30, 2023 · 3. “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”. Elbert Hubbard. 4. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.”. Lily Tomlin. 5. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished – If you’re alive, it isn’t.”.

  8. May 18, 2017 · 2. “Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow! What a Ride!'”. Hunter S. Thompson.

  9. It doesn’t work if it is not open.”. – Frank Zappa. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”. – Abraham Lincoln. “Life is like a sewer – what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.”. – Tom Lehrer. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.”. – Charlie Chaplin.

  10. Sep 8, 2023 · Here Are 100 Funny Inspirational Quotes To Help Brighten Your Day. “Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. It’s your GPS for the heart’s wild adventures.”. “Life is like a bicycle – to keep your balance, you must keep moving… and occasionally use the brakes.”. “Don’t take life too seriously; no one gets out alive ...

  11. 7. “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society.”. — Mark Twain. 8. “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet ...

  12. Jun 2, 2022 · Check out our list of our Funny Sayings for more. “Laugh and grow fat.”. “Learn from your tears and you will win laughing.”. “Be all you can be and live a good life — have fun with it.”. “It’s a funny thing about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get.”.

  13. Nov 2, 2023 · Related: Meaningful Life Quotes. 7. Lawrence Ferlinghetti Says Not to Be Too Open-Minded. “If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.”. – Lawrence Ferlinghetti. It’s true; people can really be too open minded. Gullibility allows people to be easily duped and literally believe everything that they hear.

  14. May 21, 2024 · Let’s scroll down, share, and spread happiness, smile, and joy for good vibes. Top 10 Funny Quotes Of All Time. “I can resist everything except temptation.”. — Oscar Wilde. funniest quotes. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”. — Jim Carrey. funny sayings. “Life is hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.”.

  15. Aug 31, 2023 · Alternatively, you can add it to an Instagram caption to make people smile or write it on a Post-It for a pick-me-up. 1. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” —Thomas Eddison. 2. “If you’re going to be thinking, you may as well think big.” —Donald Trump. 3.

  16. Mar 10, 2015 · Life is hard, after all, it kills you. Kathrine Hepburn. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin. Life is an onion and one cries while peeling it. French Proverb. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence in society. Mark Twain.

  17. Apr 16, 2024 · Interact with these witty remarks to let comedy brighten your day. “Life is like a toothbrush: best when it’s new and full of promise, but still ends up chewed and in the trash.”. “They say life doesn’t come with a manual, but it does come with a mother; basically the same thing.”.

  18. Janet Coleman. Funny, Hate, Errors. 86 Copy quote. A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often. Oliver Herford. Funny, Sarcastic, Laughter. 268 Copy quote. I try not to worry about the future - so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time. Tom Wilson.

  19. Jun 28, 2021 · 7. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.”. — Billy Wilder. 8. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.”. — Charles M. Schulz. 9. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.”.

  20. Dec 27, 2022 · Funny quotes about life. 1. “You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police.” -Joan Rivers. 2. “There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.” -Mindy Kaling. 3. “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.

  21. Apr 19, 2022 · 8. "Life is like looking for your phone, most of the time it's in your hand." 9. "To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid." 10. "If at first you don't succeed, fix your ponytail, and ...

  22. Apr 29, 2024 · Thomas A. Edison. 6. "If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things."–. Albert Einstein. 7. "Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game ...

  23. Funny Life Quotes And Sayings. A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on. Winston S Churchill. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain. Light travels faster than sound.

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